Monday, 28 April 2014

Moving on from mistakes

There is much talk among my friends and relatives of the dreaded 'mid-life crisis' and ageing, and most of it isn't that positive!! Although it's hard to define what really constitutes being middle aged (I'm going with 45+, since I expect to still be around when I'm in my nineties), none of us can escape the fact that our age directly affects not just our physical but also our emotional health. And I think women in particular struggle as they get older, as society celebrates youth as a female beauty attribute and tends to sideline 'mature' women (read this recent news story here, where broadcaster Michael Buerk says (female) newsreaders shouldn't complain when TV bosses 'prune the raspberries to make way for new growth' - you are dead to me Michael).

mid-life crisis
Pinterest always has just the right image...

Take Johhny Depp for example, who is 50 (yes 50) years old. He recently dumped Vanessa Paradis, his partner of 14 years and the mother of his two kids, for the 28-year-old (yes 28) Amber Heard. Is that the sort of thing a 50 year old woman could get away with? Even if she was an A-lister? I'm not convinced. I mean who really bought the Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher relationship? When his Hollywood career took off, so did he...and with someone his own age (you are dead to me Ashton).

So, if you're not going to run off with someone who is half your age - what should you be doing as you reach middle age? I think it can be a really positive time to try things you always held back on, reassess what's important to you and re-write all the bits of your life that didn't exactly go to plan. It's a good time to visit a life coach, sign yourself up for a major sporting event and consider a new qualification or career. You've probably got far more time, money and conviction to help you make the most out of this period of your life than you ever did when you were younger.

The future
What's in your future? Photo courtesy of stockimages/

For some it might be the time to go a little wild - maybe get a tattoo - while for others (again like Johnny Depp who seems to be a little impulsive on the romance front and famously had his 'Winona Forever' tattoo edited to just 'Wino forever') it might be just the time to look for laser tattoo removal at a sk:n clinic. Getting rid of an ex's name - or an image that felt right decades ago (remember the whole 'Barb Wire' trend? Even Pammy is lasering that off now) but just doesn't suit you anymore can actually be relatively easy and pain free. Laser removal seems to be the best option if you want to avoid scarring and get effective results and sk:n has 40 state-of-the-art clinics nationwide to book a no-obligation consultation in.

mid-life crisis
Don't waste any more time, get your skin problems sorted

In fact the sk:n clinics offer a range of treatments that you might be considering, including therapies for acne scars and rosacea, laser hair removal, mole removal and dealing with thread veins. If you are thinking about a skin treatment or have a skin condition that you're not happy about, the sk:n website has loads of informative articles you can read too (covering everything from home made acne masks to Kim Kardashian's pre-wedding surgery). This really is a great time to fix a problem that might have been on your mind for years. The whole mid-life thing does have that now or never feel to it!

So what will you do to turn your potential mid-life crisis into a mid-life triumph? Buy a flash new car with a personalised plate? Write a novel? Go back to education? Raise funds for charity? Let me know (I'm looking for ideas!!) in the comment box below...

Thanks for reading


  1. Great article Vanessa, look forward to reading more from your blog.

  2. I'm struggling with looking in the mirror and seeing my face changing as every day I just seem to get older. I think you are exactly right - a change of focus is required. I am embarking on an oral history project as a volunteer which will be a complete departure from anything I've ever done before. It's very exciting and who knows where it may lead - volunteering is a great way to dip your toe in to something.
    But I'll still spend a fortune on skin care products searching for that promise of eternal youth!

    1. Yes, it's good to have all your options covered!! The volunteering idea sounds ace - a great way to try something new and step outside the comfort zone it's so easy to get into as you get older. Thanks for commenting.

  3. Agree that the mid life point is a great time to review what you have done so far and focus on what you could achieve.
    At 40/45 I did decided that it was now or never for that professional qualification and although that didn't really lead where I wanted I realised that I could achieve something I set my mind on so I would say Aim high at something you've always thought about. If you have the conviction and the determination you can do it

    1. Ah, the voice of experience - perhaps that's what all of us facing middle-age need - advice from the (even!) older generation!! Something about getting older just gives you the confidence to try new things - and perhaps not surprisingly - succeed at things you do try.

  4. Great write up Vanessa! We worry too much of what people think of us and dont take take a second to ask ourselves what we need and want in out lives.